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Chain PNG by AbsurdWordPreferred by SorcererWithAPen

If Truth had a tongue

All your armies, all your men

All your hate, against a pen

 

Struggling poet

Broken words

 

Cold still coffee

Broken birds  


Against a boy- stone in hand

Tightening hands on rubber band

 

In his eyes see brightening hope

To strengthen (still) the breaking rope

 

Of justice, rights and human love

As airplanes hover up above

And I wonder, hands are shaking

Faith is crumbling, words are breaking

 

Torn up hope and spirits broken,

Muting people when words are spoken,

 

Time is racing against a pen,

And I wonder once again,

 

Who is weak, and who is strong?
Who is right, and who is wrong?


And I wish, whilst blood is dripping

Chains are beating, whips are whipping

 

See the image- bleeding men

Hear the clock chime- broken pen

 

Again I wonder and I wish

 

If only the truth had words to speak

Words to tell when days are bleak

 

Peace to spread when nights grow cold

Separating lead from gold

 

Hands to warm when corpses lie

Their people hate, our people die


And I wonder, now I think


We as people, stand as none

Enemy lines all stand as one

Chain PNG by AbsurdWordPreferred by SorcererWithAPen


OK. So I haven't been updating for a while now but I hope this poem makes up for it. It's got a very simple rhyme scheme and I kept it that way for a reason! Critiques are welcomed- though please do try and give reasons for each statement you make :> I am currently trying to improve my writings but you can't really impress everyone can you? If there is one person who likes your work there has to be one person who doesn't... but that's fine since everyone has their own likes and dislikes :-)

So anyway hope you like the new poem it's got a lot of different...erm ideas... to it. Thank you for the birthday wishes and to Ikoter and lunatical-miracle for the points! Oh and to ikoter, I will get around to doing the second part of confessions of a King soon! 

Enough of my...'description'

Add a Comment:
 
:iconpie46733:
pie46733 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
wow that was wonderful
Reply
:iconcharminbluebell:
charminbluebell Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
WOW! I am literally reading all of your poems and you are doing so well! But I love this one! It's so deep and meaningful! You must have had a lot and a lot of practice!!!!!!! Great job! No seriously, I mean it!
Reply
:iconhannahthewriter123:
HannahTheWriter123 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2014  Student Writer
Beautiful!~ 0w0
Reply
:iconcleoking:
cleoking Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
oooh i loved this great job!
Reply
:iconsakura-yotobari:
Sakura-Yotobari Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Absolutely phenomenal! So amazing and inspiring. You have the wonderful gift of a beautiful mind <3
Reply
:iconsorcererwithapen:
SorcererWithAPen Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student Artist
Thankyou for the comment! I'm happy you liked it, your comment made my day!
Reply
:iconlunatical-miracle:
lunatical-miracle Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You are welcome! >< once again your poem made me feel all fan-girl. Is it possible to be a poet's fan-girl....?
heh. sorry, i'm weird.
Reply
:iconsorcererwithapen:
SorcererWithAPen Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student Artist
Don't worry, being weird is good! I'm glad you liked my poem, thanks for the comment! :>
Reply
:iconlunatical-miracle:
lunatical-miracle Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
hehe. Your welcome~
Reply
:iconpinksparkleduck:
PinkSparkleDuck Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
I think it's great. Honestly just keep writing-"practice makes perfect"(hate to use a rather cliched term but hey....)
Reply
:iconsorcererwithapen:
SorcererWithAPen Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student Artist
Sometimes there is nothing you can do but write cliche thankyou for the comment!
Reply
:iconyo1000:
yo1000 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014
whoa just deep
Reply
:iconsorcererwithapen:
SorcererWithAPen Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student Artist
Thanks!
Reply
:iconhdearman6:
hdearman6 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Very nice :)
Reply
:iconsorcererwithapen:
SorcererWithAPen Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student Artist
Thankyou!
Reply
:iconhdearman6:
hdearman6 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Your welcome :)
Reply
:iconsherlocked157:
Sherlocked157 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
wow
Reply
:iconsorcererwithapen:
SorcererWithAPen Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student Artist
Thanks!
Reply
:iconsherlocked157:
Sherlocked157 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
no problem, it's amazing
Reply
:iconsparkly-purple-ninja:
sparkly-purple-ninja Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Poetry doesn't normally catch my attention, but this really stood out to me. I really like it :)
Reply
:iconsorcererwithapen:
SorcererWithAPen Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student Artist
Thankyou! I'm glad you liked it :>
Reply
:iconikoter:
Ikoter Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Student Writer
Critique. Or is it?

 - Very good job making this poem. I like how almost all the lines have very similar endings.

 - I see you integrated neat concepts within the poem. I see the flow of time. I see the medium around the main standing point. I see how people speak. I see war. I also see the victims yet to come. And I see you... behind the pen... writing.

 - There is certainly an internal struggle between power and faith. Between good and evil. Between right and wrong. And can we blame you? Everything has its good and evil. Anyone thinks of things as good and things as evil while the someone else may see them the other way around.

 - You integrated the concept of evolution too. This one has more to it than the rest. We think we've evolved and adapted into society. Yet all the same things are happening as in the Medieval Ages. Its even worse now.

Critique may not be the suited word for that which is written above. And its good to hear the second part of the Kings Confession is approaching. Believe me or not, I've memorized the first part.
Reply
:iconsorcererwithapen:
SorcererWithAPen Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student Artist
Firstly, sorry for the extremely late reply, secondly, thank you for the critique!
I'm glad I could get my message across, it is rewarding to know that people (or readers) can see what I'm trying to do with the poem, what image I'm trying to create and what tone I'm trying to create. 
There are no polar opposites like the line that separates the good from evil is breaking since now you don't know too much... the world isn't as simple to be able to be categorized in good and evil!

And yes the second bit is coming out soon and wow- you've memorized the first part which makes me feel so honored! 

Thank you!
Reply
:iconikoter:
Ikoter Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Student Writer
Yes yes. And please, dont rush. Its best if the poem has the best in it.
Reply
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